A Very Merry Clois Lexmas
by JustSuperMione
Summary: Set during season 8: IMPROVED While they watch Clark and Lois at the Kent Christmas party. Lex tells Lana about Lexmas Season 5 episode rewritten with Lois. Clois centric! Starts out:"Lex, why are you watching the Kent Christmas party?" Lana asked...


**Title:**A _Very_ Merry Clois Lexmas

**Author:**JustSuper Mione

**Prompt:**Stocking Fillers

**Category:**Romance (with a little comedy)

**Rating:**PG

**Summary:**** IMPROVED **Lex tells Lana about Lexmas (tweaked with Lois in) while they watch Clark and Lois at the Kent Christmas party.

**Author's Notes:**This is my Clois version of Smallville's Lexmas episode for the 12 Days of Clois Christmas challenge. It's a _tad_ late but I hope it is worth the wait.

* * *

**A**_**Very**_**Merry Clois Lexmas**

"Why are you watching the Kent Christmas party?" Lana asked as she slowly walked into the small room, lit only by a big screen and life support machines.

The room was suddenly filled with the cankering of keys, as Lex typed out his response. She glided forward ignoring the scene before her. Lex had watched with interest Lois set up the party, careful to make sure everything was perfect whilst avoiding Clark.

Clark had spent the whole afternoon trying to get Lois alone.

People were arriving now. This party was a combination of the Kent's annual Christmas celebration and a welcome home party for Jimmy, Chloe and Lois. Married life obviously suited them. Jimmy was sat on a large comfortable armchair with his wife by his side feeding him entrees. They were glowing with happiness.

Lana carefully sat on Lex's lap, wrapping herself around him as he pressed enter and a mechanical voice said.

"I'm watching him, studying him in his natural environment. He just happens to be with _them_. It reminds me of a happier Christmas. Why else did you think I got you to place the camera's there, my love?"

Lana, although smiling at the endearment, sighed resolutely.

"Tell me about the happier Christmas Lex?" she asked with doe pleading eyes; placing her hand over his so that he couldn't type out his response.

His eyes widened in horror at the thought of typing it out. They looked at each other for a long moment.

"I don't care how long it takes Lex. I love you. We agreed that we're starting again," she stated lovely as she placed feather-like kisses on his exposed skin. "Please." Lex did his best to smile with tubes in his mouth. Lana removed her hand from his and he started to recount the tale.

"My best Christmas was three years ago," Lex began. Lana lifted her head questioningly. "After I was shot in Granville; I had a dream about how things could be…"

Lex started to explain to Lana about their life together and how perfect it was; three of them, with one on the way.

"But the strangest part of the dream started at the Christmas tree place with Alexander..."

* * *

"_Wow dad!" exclaimed the excited child circling the tree._

"_Wow is right," I said standing back with my hands on hips. It was a magnificent tree. I turned to ask him whether it would fit when my gaze was caught by two familiar figures coming from behind a row of trees._

"_Clark! Chloe!" I explained rushing forward. Apart from Clark wearing a rather large pair of glasses and Chloe's long hair, neither of them had changed._

"_Lex!" they chorused. I was taken aback because they were actually happy to see me._

"_Boy. Am I glad to see you two…" I said about to explain about being disorientated when Chloe cut me off._

"_Are you a father again!" Chloe excitedly guessed._

"_No," I answered: thinking again about what my next move should be. I was interrupted by a thunder of footfall. Alexander launched himself into Clarks awaiting arms._

"_Uncle Clark! Uncle Clark! Make me fly! Make me fly!" Clark easily lifted the boy up and twirled him round and round._

"_Don't worry Lex." Chloe comforted. "Your little Princess will soon make her entrance into the world. By the way, I'm very soon going to be making my splash in the literally world thanks to you."_

"_Really?" I questioned surprised looking at her carefully._

"_Yeah, well, when the publisher read that little Luthor Corp __exposé_ _– with an inside source: How could they not eat it up? Thanks Lex…" We turned to look watch Alexander's flying. It seemed that she wanted to say more but Alexander's laughing and a camera flash from behind the trees distracted us. _

_I looked round to see where the camera flash had come from but couldn't see the source. Clark notices us looking at him and brought Alexander in for a landing saying:_

"_Sorry I haven't been around to see you guys lately. Things have been mad at the planet!" He said clearly tired but happy. Alexander, for his part didn't grumble about the ride being over but shot off in search of something or someone._

"_Oh no don't you believe his… 'thing's has been mad at the planet routine,'" Chloe laughed turning to me. "The man's just been promoted! He's a fully fledged reporter now."_

_Clark smiled bashfully as pushed up his glasses that had slipped down, back up his nose._

"_Don't start Miss 'do-you-know-my-books-going-to-be-published'?" Clark teased. _

_He didn't say anything else so Chloe continued._

"_And it's not just the Planet that's been keeping him busy it's…" but it was now Chloe's turn to be cut off – this time by another camera flash and an all too familiar voice saying proudly:_

"_Me!" I turned to see Lois Lane. She looked different. Her hair was short and darker than I remember it. She was wearing a suit. She waddled over, letting the camera that she had round her neck, drop down and rest on her protruding belly._

"_Hello Lois," I said surprised "you look very… very…" I was distracted by Clark's eyes pleading with me to 'tread carefully'._

"_The word you're looking for Lex is __**pregnant**__." Lois said smiling a little too sweetly for my liking. "I look and feel very pregnant!" _

"_Aunty Lo! Aunty Lo!" came a voice, blurring forward, "Pick me up!" I recognised as Alexander coming to a halt by Lois' side looking up adoringly._

"_I can't kiddo," she said kindly. "We wouldn't want to hurt the bump would we?" she added rubbing her belly. She then took her camera off and handed it to Chloe; who smiled knowingly._

"_But how about you grow tall for about five seconds and give me a little love right here." Lois asked closing her eyes and pointing to her cheek._ "_I promise, now you're a big boy of five I won't peek or tell anyone of your superpower." Alexander looked dubious. Then, Clark appeared behind him and lifted him up. Alexander obediently kissed Lois' cheek and Chloe dutifully documented the moment._

_Lois opened her eyes, smiling._

"_Now…" Lois said addressing Clark and Chloe. "Smallville and soon-to-be-published-one, we have to buy and decorate a tree; which I've found by the way. But we'll see you Luthor's tonight won't we?" Lois asked me._

"_Yeah sure," I said in a daze. Then Alexander said proudly._

"_I'm going to decorate some biscuits with Mommy: but not all of them cos I want to do some with gram-ma Martha." My breath caught 'gram-ma Martha'. _

_As they walked off, I wondered who had gotten Lois pregnant. She was wearing gloves so I couldn't see if she was married. As they turned the corner I thought I saw Clark put his hand on the small of her back._

* * *

"The next shocking thing of the day as when Alexander and I got home: At first I had to convince you about the size of the tree in relation to our budget. Once inside, I spotted a large tin of company biscuits. Alexander seemed excited and you'd already made some icing sugar for him to start decorating." Lex's mechanical voice stopped and Lana looked up.

"What was it?" she asked concerned, absentmindedly stroking his chest.

"You said that since my dad cut me off his PA never forgot us… Anyway, you explained that Lois started this insane tradition – that 'the gang' exchanges stocking fillers."

"Stocking fillers?" Lana questioned in a state of disbelieve.

"Yeah, when we were first married and broke, the only thing we had to bring was the company biscuits. So we decorated them. And it became a tradition that we passed onto Alexander."

"That's nice," Lana sighed as she snuggled closer into Lex's torso. "So what happened at the party?"

"It looked a bit like _that_," Lex's computerized voice said without the urgency that he felt.

'That' turned out to be the state of the current Kent Christmas party. Olly had tried to get Tess under the mistletoe. Lois was quietly laughing at his expense, until Olly took the mistletoe making sure she saw him. Lois then frowned and went over to the punch. Half way there, she'd noticed Clark making his way over to meet her, so she changed direction.

"Don't worry Lexy." Lana's voice interrupted. "We can still keep an eye on the screen while you continue your thrilling tale."

"So as we're watching Alexander decorate the biscuits you tell me that: 'as far as I'm concerned being shot was the best thing that could have ever happened to you. Later, we made it to the Kent party and I couldn't believe it…"

* * *

_We were both wearing old but smart clothes from the good old days. I'd never been prouder to have you on my arm. A bespectacled Clark opens the door and welcomes us first. He declares: "that now we're here the party can start!"_

_As he does I notice his newish wedding band gleaming in the party light._

_As we walked in, I barely notice the direction Alexander and his biscuits went. I survey the room and can tell that even after being a Senator, for however long, power and more money had only changed the Kent's clothes._ _The room was this bower of festive joy with people mingling and generally enjoying themselves. It was decorated like a festive Bing Crosby movie._

_As we continued in, we were intercepted by the pregnant Lois. I was struck by just how radiant she was wearing a simple red silk dress bathed in the surrounding candle light._

"_Hey Lex, sorry I didn't greet you more warmly at the tree sellers," Lois gave me a genuine smile and we moved so that she could hug me saying. "We were running late because Chloe was dithering about whether she even wanted a tree." Then, Lois turned that truly blissful smile towards Lana. They couldn't properly hug so they rubbed bellies instead._

_I knew their talk would soon turn to babies and I found myself looking forward to their chatter._ _As I watched, Jonathan caught my eye and came over._

"_Lex," Jonathan said, as if he was a proud father. "I'm glad you're here." He said shaking my hand. "Lana you look beautiful."_

"_Thank you," she said delighted swishing her dress. _

"_And just about due..." Jonathan said with a smile._

"_Just a few weeks now, Senator..." she answered rubbing her belly. _

"_You're not the only one!" Jonathan said with a note of pride looking at Lois' growing bump._

"_Sorry Lex I need to borrow your misses for a powwow." Lois said with a devilish twinkle in her eyes. "Come on Lana it's punch and sofa time."_

_Jonathan smiles after them, then sighed contentedly. He looked at me torn. I obviously had something he wanted to share but knew he shouldn't. _

"_Is everything alright?" I ask curiously, wanting to know so much information, I thought my chest would explode. _

"_Lex come with me," he replied having clearly made a decision. We walk into the kitchen to an excited scene of cookie decorating. Alexander seems to have co-oped most of the guests to decorate a biscuit and is clearly in charge. Oliver and Tess are at the end trying to outdo each other with their decorating skills. They warmly smile at me without a hint of bitterness or resentment. _

"_Grand-poppa!" Alexander exclaims leaving the biscuit decorating. "Look Grand-poppa, I'm decorating the whole family. This is Aunty Lo and Aunty Cho…" He indicated to two biscuits one with chocolate hair the other with popcorn. "and this…"_

"_That's great champ!" Jonathan said ruffling his hair. "And I'm going to help you decorate some more in a little while… But I need talk to your daddy so why don't you show your Aunties what a great artist you are?"_

_The child just nodded, hoped off his chair a carefully careered away – artistry in hand._

"_Look, I probably shouldn't be showing you this but being a state senator does has its advantages," he went to a draw and pulled out a present. "Like a little advanced notice from the Governor…" he said as he opened the box and hands me the plaque. 'Lex Luthor. Humanitarian of the Year.'_

"_Lex" he said in an alien tone. "I never thought I'd actually say this about you son. I couldn't be more proud if you were my own son."_

"_Mr Kent…" I started to say stunned, but was met by Jonathan's raised eyebrow. "Jonathan… I don't know what to say."_

_Suddenly, he had a gleam in his eye._

"_I have a better idea," he said walked into the main part of the party. "Everybody grab a glass."_

_Lana, Chloe, Martha and Lois were joined by a beaming Clark. Everyone, once they'd found a drink, looked to Jonathan._

"_A year ago today, I gave a toast to my son Clark when he_finally_married the love of his life." He said nodding his glass towards a beaming Clark. "Now, I have the pleasure toast another man I think of as a son. Lex Luthor – Humanitarian of the Year." The whole party erupted into applause. "The finest man I know."_

_After the toast and congratulations I had to get away. To clear my head: so I went into the back parlour where the coats were stored. I didn't bother turning the lights on but I sat on a high-back chair. Then, something caught my eye by the light cast by the hallway. To begin with the shiny object acted like a mirror._

_Curiosity got the better of me. I picked it up and just stared blankly, then amazed at the picture. It was a wedding picture._

_Clark's wedding picture. Clark and his bride were gazing at each other about to kiss. I was standing with Clark, next to you, as his best man: Alexander was pageboy, Chloe was bridesmaid, and the whole family – Lucy, Sam, Martha and Jonathan looking happy. But the most pleased and beautiful was Lois, the bride._

_Suddenly, I heard someone come in. I peeked over to see Lois sneaking over to her stocking._

_She hadn't seen me but half way to her prize she was intercepted._

"_Mrs Kent!" Clark exclaimed vastly amused. "You wouldn't be trying to sneak a peek at your presents?" He said, I assumed catching her into his arms._

"_What do you think Smalls..? Just like every year your mother bakes and the General barks, so I, by my very nature, do this… And every year you stop me – then we secretly exchange extra gifts on Christmas Eve… Come on Clarkie…" The way she said it indicated to me it was time to leave them alone._

_I slipped away to the porch._

_There I spoke to mom again. I was talking to her when Clark came up behind me._

"_Who are you talking to Lex?" Clark asked._ _I looked around with a sigh, and nearly choked on a laugh when noticing that he had Lois lipstick on his jaw._

"_No one. Or possibly myself," I said as I took a handkerchief from my pocket and said highly amused. "Nice colour Clark but I don't think it suits you." I handed it to him, pointing to his face._

"_Well, that's my wife for you;" Clark said clearly satisfied wiping off the lipstick. "Always leaving her mark!" He added looking at the hankie._ "_So why are you talking to no one or possibly yourself?"_

"_I guess I'm just feeling… contemplative this evening," I cover, realising now was probably when I'd get some answers. _

"_Well," Clark said raising a glass. "The holidays will do that to you."_ _We smiled at each other we shared a comfortable silence which I broke._

"_You know my life hasn't turned out the way I planned… And yet I've never been happier." I had to admit. _

"_That's because you have a wonderful life and every reason to be happy. You have a_beautiful_wife, a_great_son and a_baby_on the_way_."_

"_There's something I still can't quite believe," I said meeting his eye. "_Me_and_Lana_?_You_and_Lois_? Now, how in the hell did that happen?"_

"_Well, you became the kind of man she could love," he admitted with a shrug._

"_You mean the kind of man you've always been?" I countered as a friendly challenge._

"_And you offered her something that I didn't," he continued as though he didn't hear me. _

"_What held you back Clark?" I asked, dying to know how it happened. "I mean I know you love… loved her."_

"_I always will love her… but it's not the right type of love. I suppose that we both grew up. We realised that we were in love with the fantasy of loving each other. We realised that we just weren't right for each other."_

_I kept looking at him expected him to disclose more. He didn't so I continued:_

"_And Lois?" _

"_Lois and I just happened…" he said pushing his glasses up his nose."We were best-friends and completely unexpectedly; naturally drawn to each other like magnets." Then, he looked at me. "Just like you and Lana. But, I am glad you and Lana ended up together and we've been able to remain such good friends."_

* * *

"And then Martha came to tell me that you were in labour. We rushed you to hospital, where you had our baby girl and you died. I couldn't bear that so I picked another path, to save you," he said finishing his tale.

For a while Lex and Lana sat in silence watching Tess and Olly dancing to White Christmas.

"I think it's a case of keep your friends close and enemies closer with those two," typed Lex.

"Yeah, talk about friends and being close… Where's Lois and Clark?" asked Lana taking the camera's remote control from Lex. She switched to another camera. "There!" she exclaimed pointing at the screen.

'There' was the back parlour, where Lois was sneaking over to her stocking.

"Lois Lane!" Clark exclaimed vastly amused. "You wouldn't be trying to sneak a peek at your presents." He said catching her hand.

"Smalls… every year I do!" she exclaimed looking into his eyes. "Me sneaking in here is as natural as your mom baking or the General barking. And every year you stop me – then we secretly exchange the extra gifts on Christmas eve." she said with a devilish grin. "So cough up!"

Clark sighed and rolled his eyes.

"And here's me thinking that we'd matured past this point. I didn't buy you an extra one," he said innocently. For a moment, Lois' face was the picture of shock. Then, her eyes narrowed, the mirth shone through and she slugged his arm.

"You're about as funny as Jimmy's operations," she exclaimed relieved. "You get my extra stocking filler and I'll get yours, ok?" She said with a definite air of excitement. He nodded and they both went to the others stocking.

"I didn't know they did this," Lana muttered.

"Why is Lois' stocking plaid?" typed Lex suddenly intrigued.

"Lois has a habit of stealing Clark's shirts. So Clark asked his mom to make it for her as a joke the first year they met…" Lana was going to say more but she was interrupt by Lois. "I have a stocking there too?"

"Hey… Ollies already nabbed his joke gift from me!" Lois complained.

"What did you get him?"

"A children's bow and arrow set… Just trying to get his quiver out of the closet." she said with a straight face.

"Oh!" Clark smiled. "Ah-Ha! Found yours… And by the way, the General and Lucy sent you presents via me. I think Lucy has something to do with plaid – but I'm not sure what." he turned hiding her present behind his back. "She said 'Plaid in fashion, and is abundant in Anne Summers' and 'that it'd knock _my_ socks off'…"

"She must be in England," typed Lex. "Anne Summers is England's version of Victories' Secret… You know that time I met her, before she stole from me, Lucy asked me what their deal was?"

Lana was spared the trouble of trying to articulate her own theory by Lois's exclamation.

"And I've got yours here too," she said walking over to him.

On the count of three, Lana and Lex were amused by the manner of their gift exchange. They swopped wrapped presents before promptly sitting down to unwrap them like excited three years olds.

"You first Clark." said Lois with a wide childlike smile that enhanced her natural beauty. The package was a stack of cards. Clark flicked through them with amazed delight.

"How long did it take you to get all of these cards Lo?" he asking delighted.

"A little while actually. You've got a pass card key for: the court house, the hospital, police station… All the fun, spots! As well as, some useful ID's." She said with a wicked grin. "I thought that if you're serious about journalism and are going to continue to follow me round like an over grown shadow – you need what I've got."

"Darn right," Clark said with a triumphant air. "Because without you I've managed to get into hardly any trouble and what funs that?"

"Thought you'd have had enough fun without me," she muttered almost darkly. "– what with…" then paused before sighing for dramatic effect "Lana!"

"Why have Lana Lang? When you've got the great Lois Lane as a friend?" Clark said in a charming way. "Besides, I realised something when you were gone. Lana doesn't have a great sense of humour." Lois looked like she was going to say something but Clark didn't let her. "Why don't you open your present?"

Lois nodded and started to open the double CD shaped package.

Lois looked at them for awhile before realising a very un-Lois squeak. She launched herself at him and hugged him.

"How on earth did you?" she muttered unable to truly express her emotions.

"They were in town when I was. So I waited for _ages…"_he empathized significantly.

Lex didn't need to ask Lana to zoom in so that they could see what CD could possibly have that effect on Lois.

It was two copies of the same WhiteSnake Greatest Hits Album. Identical in every respect: Expect one copy was sighed.

"I knew that if you hadn't been in StarCity with Jimmy you'd have been there at the signing so I took it upon myself," he said with the satisfied air of someone who's planning had panned out. "But then, when I was there, there was this competition…" he moved a little closer. "Open the signed copy," he said excitedly.

Lois looked at him dubiously then did what he asked. And out fell two pieces of paper: ticket size.

She picked up the tickets and stared between them and Clark.

"What are these Smallville?" she whispered.

"V.I.P. WhiteSnake tickets Lois?" Clark said very proudly enjoying her facial expression. "It's the stocking filler to beat _all_ stocking fillers."

Surprisingly, Lois dropped the ticket as if they scolded her. Then, she stood up and went for the door. As fast as he could, without super-speed, Clark grabbed her hand.

They stood there for a while looking at each other.

"We shouldn't be watching this Lex." Lana said moving quickly for the remote. As she said this, Clarks face changed as he'd suddenly got an idea.

"_No_. We have to wait how he interacts with someone he loves…" Lex said typed with a curious air. To his surprise, Lana returned to his lap and only commented.

"When it gets too personal we're turning this off. Watch them interact is one thing; watching them _interact_ would be sick."

While they'd been talking, Clark had silently taken Lois into his arms and they'd started to dance slowly to the music that was drifting in from the party.

"When Lana was back –" Clark began.

"I don't want to hear this…" Lois said with a pleading voice.

"-She kissed me in the Talon and I walked away," he finished.

"Why would you do that?" she asked stopping and staring at him. She tried to step away but Clark, with a gentle force, stopped her.

"Because it was wrong: I felt like I was cheating…" he said plainly. Leaving her to imagine who he felt he'd been cheating on. "Lois, dance with me."

Amazingly, Lois momentary bit her lip: then nodded. They began to slowly dance again.

"So that's why you couldn't get closer to him," Lex's computerized voice said and Lana ignored him.

As Clark and Lois danced, Lana and Lex noticed that Ollie came to the door and then, noticing the scene, went away with a cheeky, _yet_ satisfied smile.

"I'm not going to take those tickets off you. It'd be wrong," Lois said.

"The only wrong thing would be you missing out. Why would I want to see WhiteSnake..." Clark asked. Lois opened her eyes and looked at him shapely. "…without you? You know I mean without you…"

"Fine. We'll go. You have to sing a-long to all the songs though," she said with a smirk.

Suddenly, the picture of Lois and Clark was obscured by a sucker.

"Ollie, what do you think you're doing?" Lois and Clark asked in perfect union.

"I was going to prank you guys with mistletoe… When I noticed this thing," Ollie said coming closer to the mic.

"It's a video camera," Clark said evenly. Then he sighed. "Hi Lex… Happy Christmas. Stop watching me!"

The screen filled with the snow of interference. The signal died and room was filled by the stinging sound of static. Clark had, within a heartbeat, permanently disconnected their view.

"Finally…" signed Lana openly relived."Bedtime," she said with a seductive smile. She bent over and kissed him. "By the way, happy Christmas Lex!"

* * *

**Written because I'm frustrated not to have seen a _proper_ Clois Christmas. **


End file.
